Esmael James--my eldest son--

--Esmael to his classmates--

--Kuya Ej of our family--

Gabriel Benedict--my youngest--

--Gabriel to his classmates--

--Chockie of our family--

Time flies so quickly. My little boys are now growing up. For now they would still allow me to accompany them to school, even to their rooms. I know time will come that they'll tell me

"Mama, we can go to school on our own." That would make me feel sad..

I knew i had to let them go. To explore on their own. But i can't help but worry..

How can i let them go? With those bad stuffs outside just waiting for their next prey.

With their circle of friends, which we dont know whom to trust or not.

Those were only few of the reasons why im having doubts to let my kids go out on their own.

Its my worst fear..

To see one of my angels get hurt.

Now, all i can do is pray and ask for guidance.

For my kids to take the right path.

For them to grow up with trust and faith in Him.

And may they always love God, their family and themselves above everyone else.
another thought...

everyday’s such a great day for me…i can’t even imagine im a mom now…my friend once said i dont look like i have kids coz im a kid myself…ha ha ha…seriously,i can’t think of anything right now except for my just thinking if will they have a better better…the best future..i’ll try my very best to give them that best future…that’s how i love them.i’ll give my all for’s like me,for sure,can understand what im talking about.if you already had those tiny tots with you now,you can’t think of anything else but those little angels…yes,they’re angels…even if they won’t listen to you,even if they threw those toys right into your face,even if they’re showing those "mastered" tantrums infront of so many people,they’re still little angels…that’s why i called my kids "MY ANGELS"—-coz they’re "angels" and they’re "mine"…

i’d like to be there for them everytime they need me…i’d like them to treat me not only as a parent but their friend as well,their confidante…have you heard the song "wind beneath my wings"?yes, i’d like to be the wind beneath their wings…who’ll guide them all throughout their journey in life…


Dearest ANGELS,

who knows how old you will be when you read this…time flies so fast when you’re having fun.when i first laid my eyes on you, i was amazed at how you resembled your papa so’re still young but i can tell you’ll grow up to be papa’s little boys.even when we take turns taking care of you and soothing your tears away, you always smile when your papa holds you.

but still i don’t believe it quite matches what i went through for you, and how i love you because of that and for many reasons birth is not that easy.there’s a saying that if it were easy raising kids it wouldn’t start with something called labor.that saying always cracks me up because its in general, don’t really know how hard it is, or how your body changes 100 percent because of pregnancy.but despite all these, its something i would go through twice again.knowing i’ll have you by the end of it.

its too early to say anything anyway, since its been six years, but i can’t imagine living or going back to my life before you came.i did all the partying and going out in my own time, and then you came,i guess God has His ways of telling me i’m ready for the next step.let me tell you something, i never thought i would be a mom.i still don’t feel like a mom sometimes coz i still feel like a kid can i have a baby when im still one?oh well! but if i were to be made to choose between my past and my future, i would chose my future coz you’ll be in it.

how i feel about you has no words..its hard to describe.but i’ll say this–i thought i knew love but then you came along, and you thought me the true meaning of it.i pray everyday you’ll grow up to be good boys,someone smart and intelligent.your papa and i had both the hardest time and the best time since you were born,and every single moment with you,no matter how hard,is worth it when you look at us and grip our hand.i hope and pray for nothing but the best for you,and whatever you do and decide to be in life,I WILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.


Love and kisses,