sOrRy

What matters most to me?

It's not what...

It's who...

My Angels...

They're my life...



I remembered someone..something...

I got pregnant at a very young age..no, not very..just young...i was 18 then..

I knew the time's not right...

I'm not financially ready...

I'm not emotionally ready...

But i wanted to learn..

God knows how i've tried...



There's this friend of mine..

I don't know if i should call her "my friend"...

Okay let's just say she's an acquaintance...

She texted me this exact line...

"Kawawa ka naman.May malas na dumating sa lyf mo.May anakis ka na.Buti pa ako single

pa.Walang anak.Istorbo yan sa buhay."

I replied to her:

"di kawawa ang may anak and di ito malas..in fact,swerte ako kc binigyan ako ng anghel:-)"



Indeed, i'm so lucky to have my kids...they're angels.Every pain i've felt,physical and emotional,they're worth it.If someone would ask if i wanted to go back to my old life without my kids, i'd definitely say no.

Havin' my angels is the most memorable moment of my life.I would like to go back thru that phase over and over again.



I may not have diamonds...

I may not have expensive stuff...

I may not have a famous name to boast off..

But i'm extremely happy for what i am and what i have right now...

It's because i have my angels...

They're just right beside me...

I can hug them...

I can kiss them...

I can take care of them...

I can show them my love every single day of my life...





All i can say is i'm not "kawawa"...

In fact,i'm too blessed...

--blessed to have a family who support and loves me all the way...

--blessed to have a husband who loves me so much...

--blessed to have my in-laws who's very supportive of us and who loves us...

--blessed to have my angels whom you referred to as the "malas" of my life...

when in fact,they're my "lucky charms"...



You might ask me why am i telling you this just now...

When those text messages were sent ages ago...

I knew you'll understand me at this moment...

Because you're also a mom now...

You'll know how i feel...

Would you understand me if i say this to you six years ago?

When you were a happy-go-lucky-single-lady who thought that life is all about

"red horse beer"?

I knew what you're goin' thru right now...

It hurts right?

I pity you...

I just hope you'll get over it quickly so you won't feel the pain longer...

I feel sorry for you...

SuMmEr!

school's over...

summertime is here...

its a breather for the students...

no quizzes to prepare for...

no assignments to worry...



its free time for my kids...

lots of time for their favorite tv shows...

lots of time for their psp...

lots of time to wander around a shopping mall...



we do have plans for summer...

and one of those is to enroll them in any summer class...

maybe in a guitar class...

or in a dance class...

much better if its in a painting class...

just to keep them busy...

i dont want to bore them...

by doin' nothing this summer...

i'd like them to have a meaningful and worthy vacation...

◄fRiEnDs►

its a dull day...

maybe because of the blackout...

or maybe because my friends were nowhere in sight...

school's over..

haven't seen my friends for quite a while..

missed them terribly...

i missed those crazy talks with a cup of coffee in my hands...

i missed Yvone's rated xxx stories...

i missed Inday's sighs...

i missed Nieva's comments,good and bad...

i missed Te Jean's recipe talks..

i missed Mader's motherly advice with a loud voice...

we're crazy i guess..

you may think we had our own world while talking..

but that's us..

you can't change us..

neither we can't change ourselves..

we may have different views...

different expectations...

but at the end of the day...

we're still friends...

wherever they are right now..

hope they still get to reminisce those fun times we had...

hope they still find time to communicate with each other...

and that includes me:)

really missed you all...

*sorry but this is the only group pic i have..

i love them so much..

My Angels...

i wonder what would my life be without them..

they're my life..my everything..

they're my strength..my heroes..

EJ will be in grade one soon..

another step..

but i hope it wont be a step away from me..
you know kids these days..

they wanted freedom..

GABRIEL,he's still a baby for me..

i may sound overprotective...

but everywhere they go..

whatever they do..

i always make sure am just behind them..

some said i had to let them go..

i had to let them decide for themselves..

or i had to teach them the real things in this world..

but i cant..

just by seeing them hurt really breaks my heart..

i knew im not acting right..

i knew im overprotective..

but what can i do..

im their mom..

i dont want them to get hurt..

i dont want them to experience difficulties in life..

any mom there who let her kids get hurt?

raise your hand and give me the basics how did you do it..

share it with me..

but just make sure that while you did it..

you're not hurting yourself seeing them cry..

tHiS iS fOr yOu..(YoU kNoW wHo yOu aRe)

march 10,2009--

i opened my friendster account...
found eight friend requests...two were accepted..six were rejected..
i won't elaborate who were those rejected..
ive found two messages..one from a close friend..
the other?that's what ruined my day...
i dont want to dwell on this..
but its too much..
a too conceited..arrogant human being..
meddling other people's lives..
i cant imagine how someone in her right sense of mind can do such things..
at first she was sending me messages like as if she's a close friend of mine..
then all of a sudden,another message came..
telling me stupid things that im the one who ruined her life..
or if not because of me maybe she's not suffering right now..
why blame me for all those misfortunes that happened to her..

grow up gurl!
stop this stupidity!
you wanna ask me why these things happened to you?
its your own fault!
you made this mess yourself..
its not my fault..its not anybody's fault..
you have to move on..
got me?
MOVE ON!


why am i telling all this things now..
i dont even know if you'll understand this..
but please..at least try to understand every single word here..
its for you..its for your own good..
im not talking to you like im an expert..
im talking to you as a friend..as an ex-friend rather..
stop pestering me..or anyone close to me and *****..
we dont need you in our lives..
i dont want to see you..or even just a glimpse of you..

you knew i didn't hate you before..
its just now..
because of these stupid moves you've made..
you knew i could be your friend..
you knew you can count on me..
but you took me for granted..
remember what i told you before?
"for me past is past..it should be buried deep if its hurtin' you..
you have to forget every single details of it"
i thought you've done it..
forget about it..buried it..
but you've kept it...
worst part--you've reminded me of it..
even if you knew its hurtin' me..
even if you knew it upsets me..
hope you'll come to your senses..
and you'll understand that these things you've done..
its not makin' you happy..
it only worsens your hatred..
it wont bring you up..
it will only drag you down..
GOOD LUCK!

...love this song..

"now being without you
takes a lot of getting used to
should learn to live with it
but i dont want to
being without you was all a big mistake
instead of getting easier
its the hardest thing to take
im addicted to you baby
you're a hard habit to break..


"nice song right?its from Chicago..one of my fave bands..the same band who brought us "HARD TO SAY IM SORRY".."YOU'RE THE INSPIRATION".."IF YOU LEAVE ME NOW"..and the best of them all--i guess;)--""WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME"...

hah!i forgot to tell you the title of this song..its HARD HABIT TO BREAK--about a man who cant get over his feelings with someone whom he took for granted back when they're still together..so sad..

but that's life..that's love..why hold on if he/she's not happy with you anymore..you just have to let him/her go..even if hurts so much..even if its tearing your heart into million pieces..you have to let go

---dont take anyone for granted..you maybe happy..he/she may looked happy..but you
knew--or maybe you're just trying to deny it--that he/she's not happy with you..

LOVE is not just about love..its also about RESPECT and FREEDOM..there may be other aspects of it..but remember those two are always included to have a healthy relationship..

am to cheesy today..maybe because of that song am currently listening to while making this blog..
Belated Happy Hearts Day everyone..
hahaha..got nothin' to say...

cravin' for pasta..coffee..

yeah im craving for pasta..specifically with white sauce..using rigatoni pasta..
Zen--my sis-in-law made this delectable rigatoni pasta recipe with white sauce..
i forgot the name..silly me..so forgetful..
you see i only love to eat..eat..eat..and there were times that i dont even know the name of that certain food im eating..
gotcha!!
its Baked Rigatoni with Bechamel Sauce..its really delicious..with melted cheese on top of it..hhmmm..so yummy..
pair it with Granita from Fagioli..
which reminds me--have you tried Fagioli's Durian coffee?
its so creamy with real durian bits in it..
got to try it once more--
gotta go now..im going to Fagioli and have my coffee break..hahaha
and for my pasta craving?i made spaghetti sauce,mix it with elbow mac,put cheese on top--lots of cheese..put it in an oven until the cheese melts..
pasta?CHECK!
coffee?CHECK!
now all i gotta do is find that book im currently reading..
The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho..
my thursday aftie is done..
so long everyone..
thanks for bearing with me...hehehe

bored..

im feelin’ bored tonight..
i need a cup of coffee to boost me up..
or a cup of hot choco maybe..
a pizza..or a pasta..
my comfort foods..
grrrr..foods again?
its just an hour ago since i last ate..
and now im feeling hungry again..
lemme’ check mah tummy..
no sounds..no growls..
uh..uh..am not hungry..
maybe am just really bored..
my kids are asleep..
my hubby?lemme’ check again..
hhmm..he’s playin’ PSP..
actually..a while ago,am readin’ a book..
“confessions of a shopaholic”
interesting..
funny..
but i dont feel like reading now..
so am here..
stuck with our pc..
tryin’ to figure things out..
sounds odd..
what are those things am tyrin’ to figure out?
you dont know?
well i dont know either..
hahaha..
maybe am just sleepy..
but am not..i guess..
i wanted to do a certain thing but i dont know
what it is..
hhhmmm…
too much happiness..

KIDDOS

Esmael James--my eldest son--

--Esmael to his classmates--

--Kuya Ej of our family--

Gabriel Benedict--my youngest--

--Gabriel to his classmates--

--Chockie of our family--



Time flies so quickly. My little boys are now growing up. For now they would still allow me to accompany them to school, even to their rooms. I know time will come that they'll tell me

"Mama, we can go to school on our own." That would make me feel sad..

I knew i had to let them go. To explore on their own. But i can't help but worry..

How can i let them go? With those bad stuffs outside just waiting for their next prey.

With their circle of friends, which we dont know whom to trust or not.

Those were only few of the reasons why im having doubts to let my kids go out on their own.

Its my worst fear..

To see one of my angels get hurt.

Now, all i can do is pray and ask for guidance.

For my kids to take the right path.

For them to grow up with trust and faith in Him.

And may they always love God, their family and themselves above everyone else.

another thought...


everyday’s such a great day for me…i can’t even imagine im a mom now…my friend once said i dont look like i have kids coz im a kid myself…ha ha ha…seriously,i can’t think of anything right now except for my kids.am just thinking if will they have a better future.no..not better…the best future..i’ll try my very best to give them that best future…that’s how i love them.i’ll give my all for them.mom’s like me,for sure,can understand what im talking about.if you already had those tiny tots with you now,you can’t think of anything else but those little angels…yes,they’re angels…even if they won’t listen to you,even if they threw those toys right into your face,even if they’re showing those "mastered" tantrums infront of so many people,they’re still little angels…that’s why i called my kids "MY ANGELS"—-coz they’re "angels" and they’re "mine"…

i’d like to be there for them everytime they need me…i’d like them to treat me not only as a parent but their friend as well,their confidante…have you heard the song "wind beneath my wings"?yes, i’d like to be the wind beneath their wings…who’ll guide them all throughout their journey in life…